butterboxbabies.com - Letters to the author of Butterbox Babies

Dear Bette,

I was contacted last year by maternal cousins who had just learned of my existence. They visited me in N.J. during our Thanksgiving Weekend last November. Last weekend I traveled to the family's homestead in Larry's River N.S.where I received an incredibly warm reception.

Everyone in this little fishing village (pop. 150) had read Butterbox Babies. I hope that they each purchased a copy of their own instead of sharing one book! One of the numerous cousins that read the book was the former principal at the Wentworth School in Halifax. Basil Pellerin remembered you and asked that I forward his congratulations on your success.

Thanks, again, for the astounding changes that your book had (and continues to have) on my life.

Riva Barnett

Date: Jun 1, 2006 12:08 PM

I hope you don't mind my referring to you as Bette. Although we have never met, I feel like you are a friend. After all, I have learned more about my beginnings from your book and the ensuing movie than from all of my life associates combined. That happened only a few years ago, so I am a relative newcomer to the Butterbox saga.

My name is Sandy (adoptive name Sanford Alan Schwartz) and I have been listed, unbeknownst to me, for many years as "Baby Boy". I was born at the Ideal Maternity Home on June 9, 1945 as John Andrew Howe...I was there with my birth mother (Flosie Howe) most likely was working there at that time.

I was adopted by a Jewish couple and raised in New Jersey, in the same relative community as other survivors and it amazes me that our paths never crossed. Perhaps they did but our common heritage never entered the picture. I have e-mailed met and spoken to some and there are many people and stomping grounds that we have in common.

I now live in Florida, but my daughter still lives in New Jersey. I never searched for my roots as I was brainwashed into believing that the only result would be to bring hurt to my adoptive parents. So, it was not until they had both passed away that my subconscious released its grip and allowed me to discover your book. Hence, I did not attend any of the re-unions as I was still ignorant of my personal history at those times and it is something I will always sadly regret.

I could not read your book, nor view the movie version, at one sitting. I constantly had to stop and allow my building emotions settle down before going on. Words can neither express the impact your research and writing had on me, nor the gratitude, debt and thanks I owe you. You have heard this many times over and I feel my words would not be unique, but rather redundant. So, suffice it to be said that from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU.

It is with great anticipation that I await the publishing of your updated version of "Butterbox Babies." I look forward to having a new edition of your book. By the time I became aware of the original, it was out of print. My only option was to search the internet and finally obtain a used copy.

I also would be very much interested in a hard cover version and plan on purchasing several copies of each for both myself and my family.

I have devoured everything I could get my hands on since discovering the Butterbox tragedies. Again, thank you. I will forever remain in your debt.

Sandy (John)

I'd like to take this opportunity to tell you that the publication of your original book brought about profound changes in my life. It not only enabled me to locate other survivors in New Jersey (two of whom were in my high school graduating class). But it exposed me to other adoptees who have validated feelings that I've harbored for decades. It also provided additional information and the impetus to contact paternal biirth family members and we have visited and maintain contact. Thank you for influencing my life in such a significant way.

Ilene Steinhauer informed me that you are in the process of updating your book and will be coming out with a special signed hardcover edition. Please put my name on the list. And, thank you, once again, for the tremendous impact that your book has made in my life.

4/20/06,

Dear Bette...I received word about your planned second run at the Butterbox Babies book. I am one of the Butterbox Babies. I want you to know how appreciative I am, and my family is, that you took on this project over 15 years ago. It gave my family a sense of history (albeit somewhat scary) of where I came from. Now that I have 2 granddaughters, I feel that history becomes even more important so I can pass it along to them, since they are a part of me. If this becomes a hard cover "collectible" version, then you can be assured that you will have a sell-out success on your hands…..just from us Butterbox Babies alone. Since the movie came out, interest in the Ideal Maternity Home story has really blossomed….especially here in the US (at least in the Long Island & New Jersey area, from what I've seen). I look forward to seeing your book in print, and ordering numerous copies for my family and friends. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help in your project. Thanks again for your passion about the Ideal Maternity Home.

Hi Bette -I just wanted to share some other thoughts. I think it's wonderful that through your book and the reunions in Halifax that I have gained the close friendship of other IMH survivors. Riva Barnett, Natalie Hamilton, Marlene O'Hare, Sandy Tuckerman and I remain very close and feel like sisters. It is strange that we grew up just a few miles apart, and all had similar backgrounds as only children without knowing about our common ties to Nova Scotia where we were all in the IMH at the same time. We meet at least once a year for a luncheon, have gone away for a weekend together and are planning a trip to Arizona to see Sharon Knight. Marlene and I went to high school together, and recognized each other at the reunion and monument unveiling. My parents, Alice's and Sandy's were all friends. It was actually Alice and her parents who were the people in the "Don't tell Ilene" story. I suspect you've seen that story. I wrote for my web page.I would like to order a copy of the new edition of your book. Please advise how to do so. Let me know if I can be of further help.

Letters to the author of Butterbox Babies - Bette Cahill